FridayApr 26, 2024
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
THE POOL PLAYERS. SEVEN AT THE GOLDEN SHOVEL. We real cool. We Left School. We Lurk late. We Strike straight. We Sing sin. We Thin Gin. We Jazz June. We Die Soon.
THE DOG'S COLD NOSE ...a poem When Noah, perceiving 'twas time to embark, Persuaded the creatures to enter the Ark, The dog, with a friendliness truly sublime, Assisted in herding them. Two at a time He drove in the elephants, zebras and gnus Until they were packed like a boxful of screws, The cat in the cupboard, the mouse on the shelf, The bug in the crack; then he backed in himself. But such was the lack of available space He couldn't tuck all of him into the place; So after the waters had flooded the plain And down from the heavens fell blankets of rain He stood with his muzzle thrust out through the door The whole forty days of that terrible pour! Because of which drenching, zoologists hold, The nose of a healthy dog always is cold!
On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness The tusks that clashed in mighty brawls of mastodons, are billiard balls. The sword of Charlemagne the Just Is ferric oxide, known as rust. The grizzly bear whose potent hug Was feared by all, is now a rug. Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf, And I don't feel so well myself.
The porcupine, whom we must handle gloved, may be respected, but is never loved.
LITTLE LOST PUP He was lost!-not a shade of doubt of that; For he never barked at a slinking cat, But stood in the square where the wind blew raw With a drooping ear and a trembling paw And a mournful look in his pleading eye And a plaintive sniff at the
Husband and Wife Whatever I said and whatever you said, I love you. The word and the moment forever have fled; I love you. The breezes may ruffle the stream in its flow, But tranquil and clear are the waters below; And under all tumult you feel and you know I love you. Whatever you did and whatever I did, I love you. Whatever is open, whatever is hid, I love you. The strength of the oak makes the tempest a mock, The anchor holds firm in the hurricane's shock; Our love is the anchor, the oak and the rock. I love you. Whatever I thought and whatever you thought, I love you. The mood and the passion that made it are naught; I love you. For words, thoughts and deeds, though they rankle and smart, May never delude us or hold us apart Who treasure this talisman deep in the heart 'I love you.'
Strictly Germ-Proof The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gambolled up; They looked upon the creature with a loathing undisguised; It wasn't disinfected and it wasn't sterilised. They said it was microbic and a hotbed of disease; They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees; They froze it in a freezer that was cold as banished hope And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap. In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears; They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears; They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand And 'lected it a member of the Fumigated Band. There's not a micrococcus in the garden where they play; They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day; And each imbibes his rations from a hygienic cup The Bunny and The Baby and The Prophylactic Pup.
What one approves, another scorns, And thus his nature each discloses: You find the rosebush full of thorns, I find the thornbush full of roses.
He rarely hits the mark or wins the game, Who says, 'I know Ill miss!' while taking aim.
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