WednesdayApr 01, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
Erma Louise Bombeck (February 21, 1927 - April 22, 1996), born Erma Fiste, was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for a newspaper column that depicted suburban home life in the second half of the 20th century.
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
We've got a generation now who were born with semi-equality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad. We're working. We have our attaché cases and our three piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don't realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle.
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally brain dead.
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.
It is fast approaching the point where I don't want tAdenauer to want the job.
What makes people laugh? ... It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.
Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.
I am not a glutton — I am an explorer of food.
If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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