ThursdayMar 12, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
Russell Wayne Baker (born August 14, 1925) is an American Pulitzer Prize-winning writer known for his satirical commentary and self-critical prose. He is known for his autobiography, Growing Up.
An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.
Inanimate objects are classed scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that don't get lost.
You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.
The worst thing about the miracle of modern communications is the Pavlovian pressure it places upon everyone to communicate whenever a bell rings.
What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.
The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.
There's so much spectating going on that a lot of us never get around to living.
The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses.
Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
Life is always walking up to us and saying, 'Come on in, the living's fine,' and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world.
Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it.
Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.
Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.
Research is a scientific activity dedicated to discovering what makes grass green.
In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
Television was the most revolutionary event of the century. Its importance was in a class with the discovery of gunpowder and the invention of the printing press, which changed the human condition for centuries afterward.
Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
In America nothing dies easier than tradition.
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