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People tend to think I'm always aggressive and strong. The truth is, I've always been wracked with self-loathing, which leads me into terrible, self paralysing depressions. When I go down to this place, I feel so empty and overwhelmed I can barely move. But perversely, I find these traits in a man unacceptable — I can't stand someone who can out-depress me. You know that scene in Babe where the farmer clog-dances for the pig? Sometimes I'm the sick pig and I need a farmer to cheer me up. And when things get bad, my boyfriend does dance for me, and it never fails to make me laugh. He's a pretty snappy dancer.

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Feb 21, 2026

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Quote Author: Tom DeMarco

Tom DeMarco

Tom DeMarco

Tom DeMarco is an author, teacher, and speaker on software engineering topics. He lives in Camden, Maine, and is presently both a principal of The Atlantic Systems Guild, and a fellow of the Cutter Consortium. DeMarco was the 1986 recipient of the Warnier Prize for "lifetime contribution to the field of computing," and the 1999 recipient of the Stevens Award for "contribution to the methods of software development."

Probably his best-known book is Structured Analysis and System Specification (ISBN 0-13-854380-1). In the mid-1980s, along with Tim Lister and other colleagues at Yourdon Inc., he formed The Atlantic Systems Guild. They share offices with Dorset House, a small publisher that also spun off from Yourdon Inc.

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