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Since I was born I had assumed that the world ran on very simple lines, like a larger version of our church. Now I was finding that even the church was sometimes confused. This was a problem. But not one I chose to deal with for many years more. The problem there and then was what was going to happen to me. The Victoria Hospital was big and frightening, and I couldn't even sing to any effect because I couldn't hear what I was singing. There was nothing to read except some dental notices and an instruction leaflet for the X-ray machine. I tried to build an igloo out of the orange peel but it kept falling down and even when I stood up I didn't have an Eskimo to put in it, so I had to invent a story about 'How Eskimo Got Eaten', which made me even more miserable. It's always the same with diversions; you get involved. Jeanette Winterson		Sunday Oct 19, 2025
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Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done. Evan Esar

Quote Author: Evan Esar

Evan Esar

Evan Esar (1899-1995) was an American humorist who wrote Esar's Comic Dictionary 1943 and 20,000 Quips and Quotes in 1968. He is known for quotes like "Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions." He also wrote, 'The legend of Joe Miller' which was privately printed for members of the Roxburghe Club of San Francisco by the Grabhorn Press in 1957. His quotes are commonly found in Crossword puzzles.

Other Evan Esar Quotes

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

Canada's climate is nine months of winter and three months late in the fall.

Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.

The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.

The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.

A signature always reveals a man's character and sometimes even his name.

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