Quote: If you would not be laughed at, be the first to laugh at yourself...

To be thrown upon one's own resources is to be cast into the very lap of fortune: for our faculties then undergo a development and display an energy of which they were previously unsusceptible.

Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it.

The poor man must walk to get meat for his stomach, the rich man to get a stomach to his meat.

Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning.

You cannot pluck roses without fear of thorns, Nor enjoy a fair wife without danger of horns.

No nation was ever ruined by trade.

To be humble to Superiors is Duty, to Equals Courtesy, to Inferiors Nobleness.

What maintains one vice would bring up two children.

God works wonders now and then; Behold! A Lawyer, an honest Man!

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, Obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

Distrust and caution are the parents of security.

Do good to thy Friend to keep him, to thy enemy to gain him.

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.

Each year, one vicious habit rooted in time ought to make the worst man good.

Eat to live, not live to eat.

Even peace be may purchased at too high a price.

Beware of meat twice boiled, And an old foe reconciled.

God heals, and the doctor takes the fee.

Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.

Half the truth is often a great lie.

Happiness consists more in small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.

He's a Fool that cannot conceal his Wisdom.

He's a Fool that makes his Doctor his Heir.

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines.

He that blows the coals in quarrels he has nothing to do with has no right to complain if the sparks fly in his face.

He that can have patience, can have what he will.

He that waits upon Fortune, is never sure of a Dinner.

Humility makes great men twice honorable.

Folly is wisdom spun too fine.

He that lives upon hope will die fasting.

A good conscience is a continued Christmas.

Trickery and treachery are the practices of fools that have not wits enough to be honest.

The morning hour has gold in its mouth.

There are more old drunkards than old doctors.

Man is a tool-making animal.

Where's there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

Necessity never made a good bargain.

At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit, and at forty, the judgment.

By heaven we understand a state of happiness infinite in degree, and endless in duration.

If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some; for he that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing.

Beauty and folly are old companions.

We must all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.

There was never a good war, or a bad peace.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

A dying man can do nothing easy.

A fat kitchen, a lean will.

After crosses and losses men grow humbler and wiser.

An old young man, will be a young old man.

Be sober and temperate, and you will be healthy.

The golden age never was the present age.

Poverty often deprives a man of all spirit and virtue; it is hard for an empty bag to stand upright.

It is easy to see, hard to foresee.

The eye of the master will do more work than both of his hands.

No gain without pains.

Sloth, like rust, consumes faster than labor wears, while the key often used is always bright.

The first degree of folly is to conceit one's self wise; the second to profess it; the third to despise counsel.

Sloth makes all things difficult, but industry all easy; And he that riseth late must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night; while laziness travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him.

Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse.

Innocence is its own defense.

The best of all medicines are rest and fasting.

Plough deep while sluggards sleep.

Life is rather a state of embryo, a preparation for life; A man is not completely born till he has passed through death.

Pain wastes the Body, Pleasures the Understanding.

Marriage is the most natural state of man, and...the state in which you will find solid happiness.

Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one.

No man ever was glorious, who was not laborious.

Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

Neither trust, nor contend, nor lay wagers, nor lend, And you'll have peace to your life's end.

Pride that dines on vanity, sups on contempt.

Are you angry that others disappoint you? Remember you cannot depend on yourself.

If you do what you should not, you must bear what you would not.

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.

Idleness is the Dead Sea that swallows all virtues.

In the Affairs of the World Men are saved, not by Faith but by the Want of it.

The honest man takes pains, and then enjoys pleasures; the knave takes pleasure, and then suffers pain.

If a man empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him.

Some men grow mad by studying much to know, But who grows mad by studying good to grow.

Industry pays debts, despair increases them.

Industry, perseverance, and frugality make fortune yield.

I look upon death to be as necessary to our constitution as sleep. We shall rise refreshed in the morning.

Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade.

Genius is nothing but a greater aptitude for patience.

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.

He that hath a trade hath an estate; he that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honor.

Ben Franklin was a little stout later in life and it was said that in Paris a young woman, tapping him on his protruding abdomen, said,'Dr. Franklin, if this were on a woman, we'd know what to think.' And Franklin replied,'Half an hour ago, Mademoiselle, it was on a woman, and now what do you think?'

The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuses.

The man who does things makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all doing nothing.

Wise men dont need advice. Fools wont take it.

After three days men grow weary, of a wench, a guest, and weather rainy.

All would live long, but none would be old.

At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgment.

Whate'er's begun in anger ends in shame.

Applause waits on success.

When confronted with two courses of action I jot down on a piece of paper all the arguments in favor of each one then on the opposite side I write the arguments against each one. Then by weighing the arguments pro and con and canceling them out, one against the other, I take the course indicated by what remains.

Ill customs and bad advice are seldom forgotten.

Each year, one vicious habit rooted out, in time ought to make the worst man good.

When befriended, remember it: When you befriend, forget it.

He that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing.

Here Skugg lies snug As a bug in a rug.

Be in general virtuous, and you will be happy.

Drive thy business or it will drive thee.

Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship.

Many a man thinks he is buying pleasure, when he is really selling himself to it.

Think of these things, whence you came, where you are going, and to whom you must account.

A cheerful face is nearly as good for an invalid as healthy weather.

A child thinks 20 shillings and 20 years can never be spent.

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.

He who shall introduce into public affairs the principle of primitive Christianity will change the face of the world.

Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.

Empty the coins in your purse into your mind and your mind will fill your purse with coins.

Constant complaint is the poorest sort of pay for all the comforts we enjoy.

The best tranquilizer is a clear conscience.

Content makes poor men rich; Discontent makes rich men poor.

I should have no objection to go over the same life from its beginning to the end: requesting only the advantage authors have, of correcting in a second edition, the faults of the first.

He that won't be counseled can't be helped.

Remember, that credit is money.

The most trifling actions that affect a man's credit are to be regarded. The sound of your hammer at five in the morning, or at nine at night, heard by a creditor, makes him easy six months longer; but if he sees you at the billiard-table, or hears your voice at a tavern, when you should be at work, he sends for his money the next day.

Creditors have better memories than debtors.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do.

Our friend and we were invited aboard on a party of pleasure, which is to last forever. His chair was ready first, and he has gone before us. We could not all conveniently start together; and why should you and I be grieved at this, since we are soon to follow, and know where to find him.

Our Constitution is in actual operation; everything appears to promise that it will last; but in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.

Diligence is the mother of good luck.

There are two ways of being happy: We must either diminish our wants or augment our means either may do the result is the same and it is for each man to decide for himself and to do that which happens to be easier.

Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.

Never leave that till to-morrow which you can do to-day.

Keep thy shop and thy shop will keep thee.

Early to bed and early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

One should eat to live, not live to eat.

Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.

Franklin told of something which had happened at Lancaster in Pennsylvania at a treaty between the Six Nations and Virginia in 1744. The Virginia commissioners offered to take six Indian boys and educate them at the college in Williamsburg. The Indians, after politely waiting till the next day, declined the offer. Their young men who had gone to college in the northern provinces had come back 'bad runners, ignorant of every means of living in the woods, unable to bear either cold or hunger, knew neither how to build a cabin, take a deer, or kill an enemy, spoke our languages imperfectly, were therefore neither fit for warriors, hunters, or counselors; they were totally good for nothing.' But the Indians would take a dozen Virginia boys and educate them properly in the forest.

An egg today is better than a hen tomorrow.

When men are employed, they are best contented; for on the days they worked they were good-natured and cheerful, and, with the consciousness of having done a good days work, they spent the evening jollily; but on our idle days they were mutinous and quarrelsome.

An empty bag cannot stand upright.

It is hard for an empty bag to stand upright.

Energy and persistence conquer all things.

The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer, (Like the cover of an old book, Its contents worn out, And stript of its lettering and gilding) Lies here, food for worms! Yet the work itself shall not be lost, For it will, as he believed, appear once more In a new and more beautiful edition, Corrected and amended By its Author!

A place for everything, everything in its place.

A good example is the best sermon.

Nothing preaches better than the act.

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.

Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other.

I have met the enemy, and it is the eyes of other people.

A false friend and a shadow stay around only while the sun shines.

And have we now forgotten that powerful Friend? Or do we imagine we no longer need His assistance? I have lived a long time; and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth: that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid? We have been assured, Sir, in the Sacred Writings, that except the Lord build the House, they labor in vain that build it. I firmly believe this; and I also believe that, without His concurring aid, we shall succeed in this political building no better than the builders of Babel.

There are three faithful friends an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

Fatigue is the best pillow.

To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.

None but the well-bred man knows how to confess a fault, or acknowledge himself in an error.

Ere you consult your fancy, consult your purse.

Here comes the orator with his flood of words and his drop of reason.

Learn of the skillful; he that teaches himself, has a fool for his master.

The world is full of fools and faint hearts; and yet everyone has courage enough to bear the misfortunes, and wisdom enough to manage the affairs, of his neighbor.

Most fools think they are only ignorant.

There is always room for the man of force.

Make use of your friends by being of use to them.

You and I were long friends: you are now my enemy, and I am yours.

No gains without pains.

George Washington, Commander of the American armies, who, like Joshua of old, commanded the sun and the moon to stand still, and they obeyed him.

I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live the more convincing proof I see of this truththat God governs the affairs of men.

If you can't pay for a thing, don't buy it. If you can't get paid for it, don't sell it. Do this, and you will have calm and drowsy nights, with all of the good business you have now and none of the bad.

A good conscience is a continual Christmas.

Remember this saying, The good payer is lord of another man's purse. He that is known to pay punctually and exactly to the time he promises, may at any time, and on any occasion, raise all the money his friends can spare.

Laws too gentle are seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed.

Eighth and lastly. They are so grateful!!

There was never yet a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous.

A little house well filled, A little field well tilled, And a little wife well willed, Are great riches.

That it is better 100 guilty persons should escape than that one innocent person should suffer, is a maxim that has been long and generally approved.

Half a truth is often a great lie.

Human felicity is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages that occur every day.

What is without us has no connection with happiness, only so far as the preservation of our lives and health depends upon it.... Happiness springs immediately from the mind.

Great haste makes great waste.

Be sober and temperate, and you will be healthy. Be in general virtuous, and you will be happy.

If you do not hear reason she will rap you on the knuckles.

The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.

God helps those who help themselves.

Beware the hobby that eats.

He that has done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.

If you would not be laughed at, be the first to laugh at yourself.

I saw few die of hunger; of eating, a hundred thousand.

Clean your finger before you point at my spots.

As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence.

Trouble springs from idleness.

Idleness and pride tax with a heavier hand than kings and parliaments. If we can get rid of the former, we may easily bear the latter.

Admiration is the daughter of ignorance.

Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn.

All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable, those who are movable; and those who move.

Industry need not wish, and he that lives upon hopes will die fasting. There are no gains without pains. He that hath a trade hath an estate, and he that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honor; but then the trade must be worked at and the calling followed, or neither the estate nor the office will enable us to pay our taxes. If we are industrious, we shall never starve; for at the workingmans house hunger looks in, but dares not enter. Nor will the bailiff or the constable enter, for industry pays debts, while idleness and neglect increase them.

God gives all things to industry.

Most people return small favors, acknowledge medium ones and repay greater ones with ingratitude.

If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Don't judge men's wealth or godliness by their Sunday appearance.

Without justice, courage is weak.

Kill no more pigeons than you can eat.

Men and melons are hard to know.

There is nothing so absurd as knowledge spun too fine.

To be proud of knowledge is to be blind with light.

God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

Laziness travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him.

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.

Without freedom of thought, there can be no such thing as wisdom; and no such thing as public liberty without freedom of speech; which is the right of every man as far as by it he does not hurt or control the right of another; and this is the only check it ought to suffer and the only bounds it ought to know.... Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freedom of speech, a thing terrible to traitors.

God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: 'This is my country.'

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. This sentence was much used in the Revolutionary period. It occurs even so early as November, 1755, in an answer by the Assembly of Pennsylvania to the Governor, and forms the motto of Franklin's 'Historical Review,' 1759, appearing also in the body of the work. Frothingham: Rise of the Republic of the United States, p. 413.

Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.

On being asked what condition of man he considered the most pitiable: A lonesome man on a rainy day who does not know how to read.

To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.

A long life may not be good enough, but a good life is long enough.

Love and toothache have many cures, but none infallible, except possession and dispossession.

If you would be loved, love, and be lovable.

Love your enemies, for they will tell you your faults.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

Mine is better than ours.

A light purse is a heavy curse.

After getting the first hundred pounds, it is more easy to get the second, money itself being of a prolific nature.

Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it.... The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.

Remember, that money is of the prolific, generating nature.

He that is of the opinion that money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.

Never confuse motion with action.

Three removes are as bad as a fire.

He that would live in peace and at ease must not speak all he knows or all he sees.

Our necessities never equal our wants.

A little neglect may breed great mischief, '... for want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost.'

Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.

There are no gains without pains.

Let the child's first lesson be obedience, and the second will be what thou wilt.

Observe all men, thyself most.

I shall never ask, never refuse, nor ever resign an office.

To bear other people's afflictions, everyone has courage and enough to spare.

Industry and patience are the surest means of plenty.

Poor man, said I, you pay too much for your whistle.

A penny saved is twopence dear; A pin a day 's a groat a year.

If you would persuade, speak of interest, not reason.

Said of the Irish itinerant preacher the Reverend Mr. Whitefield, who arrived in Philadelphia in 1739. Every accent, every emphasis, every modulation of voice, was so perfectly well turned and well placed, that, without being interested in the subject, one could not help being pleased with the discourse ....

Here you would know and enjoy what posterity will say of Washington. For a thousand leagues have nearly the same effect with a thousand years.

We are a kind of posterity in respect to them.

Many have quarreled about religion that never practice it.

None preaches better than the ant, and she says nothing.

Despair ruins some, presumption many.

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

Pride breakfasted with Plenty, dined with Poverty, supped with Infamy.

Pride is said to be the last vice the good man gets clear of.

If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed.

Proclaim not all thou knowest, all thou hast, nor all thou canst.

You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again.

The U.S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.

Nothing gives an author so much pleasure as to find his works respectfully quoted by other learned authors.

He that raises a large family does, indeed, while he lives to observe them, stand a broader mark for sorrow; but then he stands a broader mark for pleasure too.

Hear reason, or shell make you feel her.

The next thing most like living ones life over again seems to be a recollection of that life, and to make that recollection as durable as possible by putting it down in writing.

He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities.

Glass, china, and reputation are easily cracked, and never mended well.

He who multiplies riches multiplies cares.

Righteousness, or justice, is, undoubtedly of all the virtues, the surest foundation on which to create and establish a new state. But there are two nobler virtues, industry and frugality, which tend more to increase the wealth, power and grandeur of the community, than all the others without them.

He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night.

He that's secure is not safe.

A man may, if he knows not how to save as he gets, keep his nose to the grindstone.

If you want to keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Who had deceived thee so often as thyself?

If you teach a poor young man to shave himself, and keep his razor in order, you may contribute more to the happiness of his life than in giving him a thousand guineas.

The most acceptable service of God is doing good to man.

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

Sin is not harmful because it is forbidden, but it is forbidden because it is harmful.

Remember, that six pounds a year is but a groat a day.

Little strokes, Fell great oaks.

Clearly spoken, Mr. Fogg; you explain English by Greek.

If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher's stone.

A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

Be studious in your profession, and you will be learned. Be industrious and frugal, and you will be rich.

It is easier to suppress the first desire than to satisfy all that follow it.

It is better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country; he is a bird of bad immoral character: like those among men who live by sharping and robbing, he is generally poor, and often very lousy. The turkey is a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America.

In short, the way to wealth, if you desire it, is as plain as the way to market. It depends chiefly on two words, industry and frugality; that is, waste neither time nor money, but make the best use of both.

Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure.

Remember that time is money.

The Book: 'So he settled on a method to help him succeed in his quest. He devised a little book and set it up in such a way that he could examine himself and mark his progress at the end of each day.' 'I entered upon the execution of this plan for self-examination and continued it, with occasional intermission, but I always carried my little book with me....' 'And it may be well my posterity should be informed that to this little artifice with the blessing of God, their ancestor owed the constant felicity of his life down to his seventy-ninth year in which this is written.... I hope, therefore, that some of my descendants may follow the example and reap the benefits.'

Men take more pains to mask than to mend.

One today is worth two tomorrows.

Truth and sincerity have a certain distinguishing native lustre about them which cannot be perfectly counterfeited; they are like fire and flame, that cannot be painted.

Dont think to hunt two hares with one dog.

An undutiful daughter will prove an unmanageable wife.

We must indeed all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.

The use of money is all the advantage there is in having money.

Leisure is the time for doing something useful. This leisure the diligent person will obtain the lazy one never.

Vessels large may venture more, But little boats should keep near shore.

I believe long habits of virtue have a sensible effect on the countenance.

Sometime we may learn more from a man's errors than from his virtues.

To be proud of virtue is to poison oneself with the antidote.

Search others for virtues, thyself for thy vices.

Fish and visitors smell in three days.

There never was a good war, or a bad peace.

Waste neither time nor money, but make the best use of both.

Well done, is twice done.

Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.

If a man could have just half of his wishes, he would double his troubles.

A word to the wise is enough, and many words wont fill a bushel.

At the working man's house hunger looks in but dares not enter.

It is wonderful how preposterously the affairs of the world are managed. We assemble parliaments and councils to have the benefit of collected wisdom, but we necessarily have, at the same time, the inconvenience of their collected passions, prejudices and private interests: for regulating commerce an assembly of great men is the greatest fool on earth,

When I was a child of seven years old, my friends, on a holiday, filled my pocket with coppers. I went directly to a shop where they sold toys for children; and, being charmed with the sound of a whistle, that I met by the way in the hands of another boy,

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

If your riches are yours, why don't you take them with you to the other world?

It is the eyes of other people that ruin us. If all but myself were blind, I should want neither a fine house nor fine furniture.

Leisure is the time for doing something useful.

Write injuries in dust, benefits in marble.

The proof of gold is fire....

The Prince

The best is the cheapest.

Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.

Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion.

The discontented man finds no easy chair.

The eye of the master will do more work than both his hands.

You can not pluck roses without fear of thorns, Nor enjoy a fair wife without danger of horns.

To the generous mind the heaviest debt is that of gratitude, when it is not in our power to repay it.

The cat in gloves catches no mice.

Haste makes waste.

Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech. Written when he was 16.

Take time for all things: great haste makes great waste.

Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is.

He does not possess wealth that allows it to possess him.

'Tis against some men's principle to pay interest, and seems against others' interest to pay the principle.

The first mistake in public business is the going into it.

Success has ruind many a man.

The grand leap of the whale up the Fall of Niagara is esteemed, by all who have seen it, as one of the finest spectacles in nature.

The doors of wisdom are never shut.

Who is wise? He that learns from everyone. Who is powerful? He that governs his passions.

If you would not be forgotten, As soon as you are dead and rotten, Either write things worthy reading, Or do things worth the writing.

When the well is dry, we know the worth of water.

The proud hate pride in others.

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

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