FridayFeb 13, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
Husband at the bar: 'I wanted to keep it simple, but she wanted a big divorce with reporters, photographers, witnesses....'
Marriage counselor to husband & wife: 'The problem, as I see it, is communication. Youll have to find a way to avoid it'
Husband to his wife at the dinner table: 'Well, at least now we know what your specialty isnt.'
Husband at the bar: 'Lorettas losing five pounds a week on her new diet. I figure Ill be rid of her completrely in about ten months.'
Husband to his wife: 'You could lose a lot of weight if youd just carry all your diet books around the block once a day.'
I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
Husband to his wife: 'Do I want dinner? Is this a trick question?'
Husband to his wife in the living room of friends: 'We really have to be going. That casserole you served made us sick.'
Husband to his wife: 'You think Im right? ... Maybe Id better rephrase that.'
Husband to his wife: 'I know youve been a model wife, but its been a long time since your model was popular.'
Husband at the bar: 'I used to have a speech impediment but we got divorced.'
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