FridayJul 03, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A chinese man threw up on me.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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