MondayAug 17, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A chinese man threw up on me.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
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