MondaySep 28, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon.
Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.
It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism.
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
Technology: No Place for Wimps!
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls ... collectively known as 'nutty methods;' 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer ... commonly referred to as 'a complete waste of time.'
The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.
Your Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.
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