MondayMay 19, 2025
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
All that a spectator gets out of the game is fresh air, the comical articles in his program, the sight of twenty-two young men rushing about in mysterious formations, and whatever he brought in his flask.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
Most of the arguments to which I am a party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedence, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment.
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