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There is nothing more wonderful than a book. It may be a message to us from the dead, from human souls we never saw who lived perhaps thousands of miles away. And yet these little sheets of paper speak to us, arouse us, teach us, open hour hearts, and in turn open their hearts to us like brothers. Without books God is silent, justice dormant, philosophy lame. Charles Kingsley		Tuesday Mar 17, 2026
		Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969

About Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers (born June 8, 1933) is an American comedienne, actress, talk show host, businesswoman, and celebrity. She is known for her brash manner and loud, raspy voice with a heavy metropolitan New York accent. Rivers is the National Chairwoman of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and is a board member of God's Love We Deliver. Like the ground-breaking Phyllis Diller, Rivers' act relied heavily on poking fun at herself. A typical Rivers joke about her unattractiveness: "I used to stand by the side of the road with a sign: 'Last girl before freeway.'"

Popular Joan Rivers Quotes

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

I'm Jewish. It don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over he'd have put diamonds on the floor.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly hurt, bitterness, grief, and, mostof all, fear.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.

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