SaturdayMay 04, 2024
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women but not far enough to lose his balance.
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
One way to get high blood-pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.
Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.
Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.
This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
Always remember, money isn't everything but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
Somebody figured it out we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.
Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
Poise: The ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
How you use today will determine how tomorrow uses you.
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