MondayMar 23, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
Helen Rowland (1875-1950) was a very quotable American journalist and humorist.
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.
A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.
Some widowers are bereaved; others relieved.
It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing that's what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.
Call the bald man, 'Boy;' make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace.
No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a 'Master of Arts' and a 'Doctor of Philosophy' after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar a practice which is still continued.
Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.
After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth and endures all the rest.
There are more ways of killing a man's love than by strangling it to death, but that's the usual way.
'Home' is any four walls that enclose the right person.
Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning; to a man it's the beginning of the end.
What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her.
A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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