WednesdayMay 06, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
Helen Rowland (1875-1950) was a very quotable American journalist and humorist.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'
Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her.
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.
What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning; to a man it's the beginning of the end.
Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
'Home' is any four walls that enclose the right person.
There are more ways of killing a man's love than by strangling it to death, but that's the usual way.
A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth and endures all the rest.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar a practice which is still continued.
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.
No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a 'Master of Arts' and a 'Doctor of Philosophy' after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
Call the bald man, 'Boy;' make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace.
Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing that's what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
Some widowers are bereaved; others relieved.
A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.
A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.
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