TuesdayApr 07, 2026
Quotes: 53419 Authors: 9969
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Academy: A modern school where football is taught.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Politics is the conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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